Blame it on the Clomid

So I've been feeling super emotional the last few days, and I think we all know who (or what) i'm going to blame here! I really didn't notice a change on 50mg, and maybe its all in my head but this week I've just been so all over the place. It also didn't help that in the last couple days two different people made a point to ask when I was having babies. Lady #1 (aka my fav waitress at the local bar/restaurant we ALWAYS go) hit me up over the weekend. She just had a baby and was showing us pics on her phone....when she stopped dead sentence and was like "The real question here is when are you going to have a baby". Grrrrr.

Or as lady #2 (aka my mom's friend) pointed out... I think its time for you to have a baby. Hah, it's like what a novel concept...like the thought never occurred to me that I could actually have a child with the husband I've been married to for 4.5 years?!? I guess I should get home and get on that stat! Thank you my mom's friend that I bumped into at the store, who I barely even know, thank you. I do understand these women have no idea what I've been going through, and to them it's just an innocent little comment...small talk really. But it makes me thankful that one positive to dealing with IF, is a sense of awareness that I might not have had otherwise. And down the road as much as I may want to ask a friend when they're going to have a baby...I'll remember to bite my tongue, because you just never know what's going on behind closed doors! Until they decide to let me in, what business is it of mine...and I SO never want to be the person someone has to blog about dealing with...hah!

Then yesterday I had an appointment with my internist. She asked me what's new, and so I told her we were trying to have a baby....and before I could finish she started with, oh congrats that is so exciting!! It's like hold up lady...I'm just getting started here. And so I told her we got pregnant, had a miscarriage, now can't get pregnant, fertility treatments...blah, blah, you know the story. My voice of course started shaking, and I could feel my eyes tearing up...dam you clo.mid. Something about telling my story to someone who doesn't already know, watching her expression change from excitement to pity...just reminds how much I hate having to tell this story at all!!

So for now I'm just going to blame my overall mopiness on the clo.mid, and the pressure I'm feeling heading into IUI #3...ugh, can that please be the highest number I have to put behind IUI?!? And in attempts to beat the funk, I'm just going to focus on the positives until my 7am appt on Friday. Basically one more day to go until we get this show on the road, and then I promise no more whiney posts!! Positive/zenful state here I come, and in the meantime:

• Went to yoga last night, which I'm totally loving. She talks a lot about squeezing out the negative energy and bringing the positive in...perfect!
• It's Wednesday, and my boss is working from home which = easy day of slacking for me!
• Modern family AND Giuliana & Bill are on tonight...my new favorite shows!
• Bought these shoes online with leftover xmas credit! Should be arriving any day now.