Monday, January 11, 2010

13dpo & Holding

So I survived the weekend, and I mean literally just that. Instead of rushing by like usual, this weekend seemed to drrraaaag. And at the same time dragged me through the IF roller coaster of emotions. At times I was truly optimistic because I wasn't cramping and AF still hadn't showed, but then the cramps would resume, and the tears would start about another potentially failed IUI. Something about the 2nd one not working is hitting me much harder than the first.

Then there was the way too vivid dream I had Saturday night, where I tested positive. You know the ones where everything is so clear, and every detail is so accurate right down to the brand of pregnancy test. And the feeling of extreme happiness I experienced in that dream, well, I let it get to me. I thought this surely must be a sign, and broke down last night and tested...BFN at 12dpo. Now that can't be a good sign. I guess its better to go into my beta tomorrow with some realistic expectations.

I'm going to call shortly and make my appointment for tomorrow morning. And if this isn't my month, can I please oh please just get my period before wasting the trip to the dr. tomorrow. Last month I got my period 30 min. after my beta...now that was just cruel!

Stay tuned.

8 comments:

suchagoodegg said...

I hope it was just too early to test. Some peeps don't get their BFPs til 16DPO, so it's not over til it's over. GOOD LUCK!

Secret Sloper said...

Thank you for commenting on my blog today and sharing your story. It meant a lot.

I hope you have good news soon.

Bean stalk ballads said...

Damn it honey. I know this feeling and it sucks big time. sending you love.

JC said...

Shoot! I hope it was too early too. Sending hugs and lots of luck!

Shanny said...

12dpo could totally be too early so I'm holding out on AF and wish you good luck. My fingers are crossed!!!!

Angie said...

Hoping it was too early and you'll have an amazing gift tomorrow!

Jane said...

Ugh! I know how you feel... the next 24 hours are going to be such torture for you, I'm sorry! Hang in there, and I'm praying for some good news for you tomorrow!

A said...

I totally forgot to comment yesterday!! I definitely prayed for you yesterday evening. Keep us posted- I am thinking of you and hoping for great beta results!