Monday, May 24, 2010

8 Weeks!

How Far Along: 8 weeks

Maternity Clothes: Nope, but I haven't buttoned my jeans for the last month...but that's just from the bloat post IVF and the mild OHSS.

Stretch Marks: Nope.

Sleep: Totally going to bed super early these days, I used to be the craziest night owl, I'm talking 1am sounded early to me! These days I'm lucky if I make it to 11pm. And sometimes that's with an afternoon nap after work!

Best Moment of the Week: Seeing little Skooter last week, I cannot get enough! !

Movement: Way too early, but lots of twinges and gas bubbles going on down there...freaks the shit out of me.

Food cravings: Spaghetti with meat sauce (weird since I've never liked meat sauce), fruit, smoothies, chipolte veggie bowl...could literally eat this every night for dinner since I'm way too lazy to cook these days!

Gender: Absolutely no clue, and we're not going to find out either so be prepared for a long wait my friends!!

What I Miss: Not being bloated, seriously I don't even remember what my old flat stomach looks like. Once its actually baby related I won't mind at all...bring on the maternity jeans, but this huge ovary bloat is ridiculous.

What I'm Looking Forward To: Finishing 1st trimester, going public (right now only our parents and a small handful of friends who knew I was doing IVF know), stopping PIO shots!

Weekly Wisdom: Spicy foods are not kind to your stomach, and if gas cramps freak you out avoid them in the first place. Goodbye Uncle Frank's hot sauce!!

Milestones: Making it to the 2 month mark!

Emotions: Right now I have to admit the anxiety is still outweighing the excitement (which I hate). And I'm so ready to be done being scared and worried about every little feeling, or lack of feeling. It's also still really hard for me to believe I'm pregnant, especially when you don't feel much in the way of symptoms. I keep reminding myself this is really happening, but then the worry and anxiety sets in and I'm back to square one. Its a vicious little cycle!

Happy Monday everyone!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Catching Up

So I have just been the biggest slacker ever lately. Although IF consumed my life, I could at least still function and get through daily life. Now that I'm pregnant, its out of control. All I care about is taking care of this little bean inside of me, and so I've taken relaxing and taking it easy to a whole new level. My bed has literally become my best friend and I usually get in it after work for a quick nap, and nights that I use to spend cooking/cleaning/watching tv/blogging have turned into laying on the couch, taking my progesterone shot, and passing out way too early. My acupuncturist said to take it easy so I'm taking that a bit too seriously, hubby jokes that I've put myself on bed rest, hah!

I guess the good news is I'm tired, because that's pretty much the only pregnancy symptom I'm feeling right now. Oh, and lucky only other noticeable symptom is major breaking out on my forehead!! I'm talking little bumps everywhere, like high school style. Honestly, it's something and I'll take it so no complaining here. I've had a couple moments of feeling yucky, but I'm still not convinced it isn't all in my head. I've never once had that omg I'm going to puke sensation. Even my boobs don't hurt as much anymore, although they are definitely still bigger. Oh yah, filling out my A cup bras, woohoo!!! But the nurses and u/s techs have all assured me the boobs hurting thing is from progesterone anyways, and my lumpy sore ass knows better than anyone we're still doing the PIO shots, so I know I've got that covered and I'm just trying to go with this basically symptom-less pregnancy.

Tomorrow I'll be 7w4d and have my last ultrasound and consult scheduled before I'm shipped off to my regular OB (I think, I have mild OHSS and small amounts of fluid, which is why I get to go back tomorrow or I think I would have already graduated). I told my RE I really don't want to go, and he keeps reminding me that being normal is a good thing. But also warned me they probably will do ultrasounds every 4/5 weeks...and I'm pretty sure that may kill me. I've had one a week for the last three...and now I'm suppose go for a month like it's no big thing. I had the most amazing u/s lady last week, who told me how she ultrasounded herself every day she of her pregnancy...seriously why didn't I become an u/s technician, such bad planning! She did say how I have every right to be nervous, going through fertility treatments with the addition of having very few symptoms, and if I need to go in there and demand an u/s than I shouldn't feel bad doing it. Something tells me I will definitely be taking her advice!

So that's all, and other than that my weekends are starting to get crazy, we have our second year in a row of a crazy wedding season (I think 9 this year, maybe 7 last). 5 of my best friends are engaged, and 4 are getting married this year. Which equates to a insane summer filled with showers/bachlorette parties/etc not to mention the actual weddings, 2 of which are out of town. So hubby and I are in for an action packed summer! Our first wedding is for hubby's friend and is June 19th in Galena (one of hubby and my fav places so we're super excited), which is also a couple days before I hit the second trimester so if all goes well we could actually go public for that wedding, so I think I may actually be more excited than the bride for her wedding date, hah! Til then I'll just keep chugging along, okay now time for some blog catch up!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

All In a Year

So I've been a terrible blogger this past week, and I'm sorry if I'm behind on commenting. Basically I've been super on edge starting since this weekend, as I knew I was rapidly approaching the time in my pregnancy last year when everything ended. Scarily enough, the dates are working out to be exactly the same. Last year on Mother's Day I was 5w6d and we told our families, they were completely shocked and over the moon since they didn't even know we were trying. Then two days later it was all over, and I knew getting pregnant would never be the same. Fast forward exactly one year later, months of trying on our own post miscarriage, 4 iui's, 1 ivf and here we are at this Mother's Day...I was also 5w6d. I mean what are the chances that this pregnancy would line up to the day of last years, my due date is off by only 1 day.

In any case since we never made it to the first ultrasound last year, I've just been envisioning the worst about my next one...which was supposed to be next Tuesday. Yes...supposed to be since I of course freaked out last week and a super nice nurse let me change my ultrasound to this morning!! Well it turns out that all my fears and worries about everything we wouldn't see were wrong, because today we saw one beautiful little bean with a teeny tiny flickering heartbeat. It was just amazing, I of course was on edge and barely took a breath the entire ultrasound...but hubby looked on and teared up, basically the most perfect moment!

We are of course bummed that Scooter or Skeeter didn't make it, and my RE said we couldn't be sure they ever even started or what happened. And I think deep down I didn't really believe it, that first u/s lady just seemed way too wishy washy to the point that I never told anyone with any confidence we were having twins. And so hubby and I have re-named this little bean Skooter (with a K)...get it, it's kinda like a combo of the two names. I feel beyond lucky to have gotten to this point, and when I walked out of that office with my pic of little Skooter I finally realized this pregnancy is different, and everything started to feel a bit more real. I'm so incredibly thankful.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Scooter & Skeeter (we think)!!!

So yesterday I was totally shocked when my nurse said I could schedule my first u/s appointment between 5-6 weeks. And even more shocked when she said there was an opening today, I was totally preparing to wait until at least next Monday when I would be 6 weeks. But I gladly took the early appointment because its been just killing me wondering how many babies were in there. My betas have been nice and high, and I had a dream this weekend where I saw two perfect sacs on an ultrasound screen. Well, it turns out my dreams just may have come true!!!

I literally was holding my breath the entire time, and she found one sac right away...and at that point I'm like okay its just one and I would obviously be thrilled with one baby. But then all the sudden she goes, okay this might be another one. She seemed very hesitant to commit to anything which I get, she can't go promising crazy infertile preggos there are x babies when they're are really y. But she did offer to get a pic showing them both, and put it in a super cute little folded frame which I will now be carrying with me everywhere I go!

Then we walked in for our consult with Dr. C and for some reason he makes me super nervous, which equals me being very awkward. Seriously, my hubby and best friends can attest that I can be THE most awkward person for other people who laugh at my expense, but not for me when I start pitting out my shirt and turning red. Today I was so weird I managed to make hubby blush, which is a new accomplishment for me! But we walked in and he said something about the blue plate special, and putting two in and getting two out. To which I responded we only wanted one, which of course I meant we just wanted at least one to be in there and luckily recovered before hubby had to step in to clarify (since Dr. C has originally recommended putting in 1 and we were the ones who pushed for 2). He also said he figured it was two based on my betas.

I don't even remember all the other weird shit I said, but to sum it up at one point Dr. C said at least I wasn't the scary movie type of neurotic! I also asked him why the baby blobs were so far apart (something hubby assured me was just due to the magnifying of the u/s and begged me not to ask), and he said in real life they're more like a finger apart. Let's just say Dr. C is extremely low key (a bit much for my neurotic self), and pretty much told me I could go run on a treadmill for 30 min, have sex, jump on a trampoline, ride a horse, eat whatever I want (except the cheese thing) cramp or spot a little and it would be totally fine. Okay, I added the trampoline and horse but I mean he might as well have thrown it in. Little does this guy know I've been driving to work because I'm worried about walking to and from the train station, and even when I drive I'm super cautious about bumps in the road, and yes I asked him if I could bump the babies out!

After lunch I kept asking hubby if Dr. C really said there were 2 in there. Hubby was like weren't you in that consult too, and I was and I know he said 2 but I'm finding it so hard to believe, could we really be that lucky? And the u/s lady just kept saying it was so early and how things could change, so I think its just a way to protect myself before I go shouting twins from the rooftops. Well, only time will tell and for now I'm going to enjoy the thought that both Scooter & Skeeter could be growing in my tummy. Next u/s is set for Tuesday, May 18th and we should definitely be seeing some beating hearts!!!