Finding Balance

So I feel like lately in the blogosphere there has been a theme of finding balance in your life, and not letting IF control your life. And I think I could definitely benefit from the type of mindset. Because if I'm being honest I have failed miserably over the last few months. But I can't help wondering how I find this balance, when my life is consumed with ultrasounds, blood tests, organizing my life around my trigger shots and iui's. I think most people agree when you're dealing with IF these types of things have to become some sort of priority, or you wouldn't be dealing with them in the first place.

But even so, I have to remind myself that IF is just one part of my life. And while it may feel life consuming right now, I am still in control, and at the end of the day that level of consumption is up to me. Plus I'm a very busy girl, day job, my website, starting a jewelry business, blogging, possibly tearing my house down this year and working on the plans...so you would think I have enough to keep my mind off IF. But yet when I find myself with free time, I always seem fall into the IF trap.

However, keeping my mind off IF isn't really the goal either. Hubby and I are trying to have a baby, this decision alone warrants some attention. And on top of that we're now doing IVF, a very big decision that will demand even more of my time. Who can fault me for putting a big portion of my energy and focus into ensuring this is the best cycle possible. IF is a part of who I am now, so while I don't want it to control my everyday life, I also don't want to pretend like it doesn't exist in my world. So my question is how do I balance?

I think I read in my IVF packet that dealing with stress effectively was a key to reducing it. They said that stress is normal, and let's face it the chances of me not stressing during this IVF cycle are slim to none. But you can manage it, they suggested setting a specific time every day to deal with any concerns/questions you're dealing with. This sounds good in theory, but take this weekend...I started spotting, am I really going to wait for my "allotted time" before I started psycho googling breakthrough bleeding...hell no!

So my question is what is the answer, is there one, or is this just another thing about IF that I have to just deal with? I'm determined to find the answer, figure out a way to balance my life. Because if there's anything I've learned from being on the pill these last couple weeks, is that life before IF was pretty frickin good. No dr. appts, no cycle planning (okay, so I've totally been counting down the day, but whateva), no twwing, just enjoying my life with the hubs!! So now I'm determined not to be the IVF girl, but instead just be a girl that had to do IVF.

Step one of my goal was making massage appointments this weekend for the hubs and myself. I'm so excited, hubby has never had a massage so he doesn't even realize the treat he's in for! Its so the last thing we need to spend money on right now, but I'm looking at it like this is the last weekend before we really get going here, we're on the cusp of what could be the most exciting month of our lives! So why not kick it off with some good old fashioned quality time! But I would love to hear your thoughts, any tips for finding a balance, before my scale completely tips!!!